Dating Your Spouse through the ABC's

February 2, 2022

By Kristen Hatton, LPC Candidate


I always imagined when my husband and I reached our 25th wedding anniversary, we would take a big trip. But last January 27th the date snuck up on us during the unpredictability of COVID and while I was finishing grad school and in the throes of planning our daughter’s wedding. Certainly not the right time for anything spectacular. But still, I wanted to make the anniversary special—25 years is a long time!

Considering only one of our children remains at home (a high school senior now), my husband and I find ourselves alone together quite a bit. But being home under the same roof does not necessarily equate with quality time together. In fact, more often than I care to admit, we are either on our own devices or attending to our own tasks, not deliberately investing in one another. I have also found in this stage that without all the school and sporting events anymore, we no longer naturally see friends. Therefore, as much as my husband and I need to be intentional with our time together, we must also be intentional about time with others. 


To this end, I had the idea on our anniversary last year to gift my husband a year of dates. The dates could be solo dates or with another couple or group. The catch was each date had to follow along the ABC’s. By this I mean, each date must correlate, in order, with a letter of the alphabet, working our way from A to Z. My thought was this plan would not only get us out of the house, but we would have to be creative, which would lead to fun!


You’ve heard the saying that laughter is the best medicine. Well, as much as couples need transparent, heart-to-heart conversations, we also need laughter and fun. According to renowned psychologist and marriage guru John Gottman, “The opposite of play is not work—it’s depression. When our lives are infused with play, we’re able to see the absurd in the serious and find excitement in the mundane. A relationship without play is a relationship without humor, without flirting, without games and without fantasy. We all need humor, laughter and play. Romance is play. Banter is play.” 


Fast-forward a year and along with our 26th anniversary we are closing in on a year of ABC dating, and let me tell you, this year of fun was good for our souls. Life is often so serious, we needed to spice it up with some fun. Regardless of your stage in life, whether you’ve been married for a short time or even longer than us, fun helps us rediscover why we fell in love. Fun leads to connectedness, which in turn paves the way to grace. Without time together and laughter with each other, disconnection takes root, which can lead to more easily falling prey to false narratives and grudges toward one another. When we are united, we live more redemptively, showing one another more compassion, grace and forgiveness. 


So, this year, I encourage you to commit to regular time together simply for fun. If ABC dating sounds like something you would like to do, I’ve included below a list of our ABC dates. Use these as a springboard to your own version for wherever you live or what works with your budget. If you skip a few weeks or even a month, as was the case for us during wedding planning, football season and the holidays, don’t worry, just keep going as you can. It’s the reason we aren’t quite finished at our year marker. But the point is and the reason I’m sharing is I hope dating your spouse serves to rekindle your relationship, bring contentment and joy and maybe even save you some marriage counseling!


Kristen & Pete’s Year of ABC Dates

  • A – Anniversary Dinner
  • B – Billiards and beverages with another couple
  • C – Cycling and Chinese food delivered at home
  • D – Driving range to hit golf balls and a local deli for dinner
  • E – Eighty’s night at a Retro Arcade Pub with another couple
  • F – Food truck dinner at the OKC Ferris Wheel before going to First Baptist Church for a speaker
  • G – Go-kart riding on a Sunday afternoon
  • H – Hildago’s Mexican food
  • I – Indian food with another couple
  • J – Jed and Rebecca’s June Wedding Weekend (This was our daughter wedding!!)
  • K – Kayaking on the Oklahoma River and Kamps restaurant for dinner
  • L – The Lounge for dinner with our friends Larry and Karin
  • M – Oklahoma Contemporary Museum, Barrios Mexican in Midtown and then dinner with friends at the McGraw’s.
  • N – Neon Theme Night with friends on National Golf Club 
  • O – Othello’s Italian restaurant and then home to watch the Olympics
  • P – Pickleball with friends, the perfect partners Pat and Teri
  • Q – Quail Springs Mall food court for dinner and scavenger hunt around the mall
  • R – Rooftop Wedding of Rachel and Vance
  • S – Singo (musical bingo) at a local restaurant with friends
  • T – Thunder basketball game with Teri and Pat
  • U – Ugly Christmas sweaters to Uptown Grocery for the Ultimate Bake-off Competition
  • V – Vast restaurant for appetizers
  • W – The Wedge for pizza
  • XYZ – to be continued…. 


Originally posted on Kristen’s website www.kristenhatton.com

Kristen is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) Candidate at TLCC.

TLCC wishing you a Merry Christmas

December 2, 2025
2025 has been another year filled with joy, growth, and meaningful service as Transforming Life Counseling Center continues its mission to support the mental health needs of our community. With a dedicated team of 19 therapists, TLCC is honored to walk alongside individuals and families facing a wide variety of challenges. We count it a true blessing to be trusted with your care and to play a role in strengthening the well-being of our community.  As we reflect on this year, our hearts are full of gratitude—for your support, your courage, and the opportunity to make a difference together. From all of us at TLCC, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a joyful, peaceful holiday season. May the coming year bring hope, healing, and continued connection.

Celebrating Caleb Scoville and Our Partnership with the Hough Ear Institute

December 1, 2025
We want to extend our heartfelt congratulations to one of our esteemed therapists, Caleb Scoville, MS, LPC . On Thursday, November 13th, the Hough Ear Institute (HEI) held its annual Awards Gala, where Caleb was honored with the Elevate Award for his outstanding collaboration with HEI and his dedicated facilitation of the Tinnitus Support Group over the past two years. Transforming Life Counseling Center is grateful for our continued partnership with the Hough Ear Institute. We are honored to provide a home for the Tinnitus Support Group throughout 2025 and look forward to supporting this meaningful work in the coming year. The group offers both in-person and virtual options, expanding access to individuals across the country. TLCC sincerely thanks the Hough Ear Institute—not only have we been privileged to help facilitate this group, but we have also been deeply blessed by the connections formed and the resilience of the individuals we have met through it. The Hough Ear Institute , located in Oklahoma City, is responsible for groundbreaking research, education, and humanitarian efforts in the field of hearing and overall wellness. Our metro community is truly fortunate to have such innovative and life-changing work happening right here at home. One key area of HEI’s research is the management and treatment of tinnitus. Individuals living with tinnitus often experience cognitive, emotional, and behavioral challenges, including persistent ringing or buzzing in one or both ears. These symptoms can lead to significant distress, anxiety, and depression, especially when combined with life stressors, underlying medical conditions, or repeated exposure to loud noise. For the past two years, HEI has hosted a Tinnitus Support Group, providing a compassionate space for those affected to gather, share experiences, and uplift one another. We are honored to continue supporting this vital resource. For more information—or to donate to this worthy and life-changing cause—please visit Hough Ear Institute . To join or share details about the Tinnitus Support Group, visit Tinnitus Support Group or call (405) 246-5433 for more information.
Christmas tree decorated with ornaments, in front of a partially visible, glass-paned door.

PRIME Yourself for the Holiday Season

November 30, 2025
By Corey DeGiacomo, LMFT-Candidate
Person serving noodles from metal trays with tongs at an outdoor food stall; steam visible.

Getting in the Holiday Spirit by Giving

November 29, 2025
By Kevin Tutty, LPC If you have children, you know how easy it is to find Christmas centered around your kids. When I was single, I wondered why everyone became so busy this time of year. In a self-indulged world, marketing is designed to focus us on ourselves: It can be hard to focus on others. It wasn’t until I had a family that saw just how busy this time of year is! The Holidays are also a time of year when depression rises. I heard a pastor once say if you don’t want to feel a certain way, do something to take your mind off of how you are feeling. One great way to do this is to look for opportunities to help someone in need. For example, if you feel isolated, volunteer at a church, food bank, or other entity that helps others. This time of year is an excellent time to volunteer, as there is a greater need for volunteers in the non-profits that serve the people in our community. It is also a great way for a family to engage in a fun activity together, while helping those in need. I am convinced that once “the volunteer bug” gets someone, they will not need a reason to help others, as they will want to find opportunities to do that. This happened to me on a mission trip once and I wanted to return to the mission field the next chance I had to go. We are blessed by giving to others. When giving to those in need there is a distinction between two easily misinterpreted terms: sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is more self-focused: We get this feeling when we “feel” badly for someone in a difficult situation. On the other hand, we feel empathy when we are able to put ourselves in another’s place and see things from their perspective. When we empathize with another, our efforts are focused on the other person. The other person is validated because we are looking at things from their point of view, and understand their person’s situation or perspective. Volunteering is a great way to develop empathy, especially for those who are focused on their own wants and desires. Back to volunteering though, be prepared to get some resistance initially when proposing the idea of volunteering, especially if your kids are not used to it. Once you go, try to make it as fun as possible, scheduling a fun activity the family can engage in together along with the volunteer effort. Then, process the volunteer effort over dinner and see what other types of volunteering would be of interest to them next. There are a number of local agencies that would be good opportunities to volunteer. Here are just a few to get started: Regional Food Bank (12 and older): 405-972-11111 EARC Thrift Store (Downtown Edmond): 405-285-7658 (South Edmond): 405-348-6502 Hope Center (Edmond): 405-348-4680 Local churches can connect you to volunteer opportunities The City Rescue Mission in Downtown Oklahoma City (405-232-2709) offers groups a great opportunity to get a tour of the facility as well as serving the homeless. The Christmas and Holiday Season is such a fun time, with many activities and opportunities to serve others. We are truly more blessed when we are serving others! Kevin Tutty is a Licensed Practical Counselor and a clinical member at Transforming Life Counseling Center.
Close-up of a lit candle and decorative items including a small wooden house with star.

Navigating Holiday Stress and Finding Peace

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Introducing New Faces at TLCC

November 27, 2025
Transforming Life Counseling Center is pleased to continue to expand our team of quality therapists with the addition of a new team member. We welcome our newest member: Necco Gill, Licensed Professional Counselor. This therapist supports TLCC in continuing to support the vast counseling needs of our community and brings new areas of training. For more information on her expertise and training, you can find her bio below and on our website. In addition to our licensed staff, TLCC also has pre-licensed candidates who receive supervision by our therapists and can offer lower fees in an effort to support clients needing therapy at a lower cost. For more information about our therapists, insurances we take and fees, our phone number is (405) 246-5433 Necco Gill, LPC
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