A Clinical Response To "13 Reasons Why"

By Jenna Richardson, LPC

Brandon Schmidt, LMFT-S

"Netflix and chill." A common response to a long day at work or a lazy Sunday afternoon. We often "treat ourselves" to an episode or two of the latest series added to the popular streaming app. But, once we finally shake off the fog from our "just one more episode" coma, we realize it's 3am and we have to be at work or at school in few hours. The most recent hype surrounding the Netflix Original series "13 Reasons Why" is no different.

"13 Reasons Why" follows Clay Jensen, a shy high school student, who returns home from school one day and receives a mysterious package in the mail. It contains seven double-sided cassette tapes used by Hannah Baker, a classmate who has recently committed suicide. Each tape details a reason why she killed herself. The tapes were sent to various other people before arriving at Clay's door and while listening to the tapes, Clay walks around town and visits the various places mentioned by Hannah.

Here's our disclaimer upfront: This is a beautifully crafted piece of cinematography with extraordinary acting, gripping story lines, and multifaceted characters, pull at every fiber of our emotional psyche. If you start this series, you will not want to put it down. It will leave you wanting the next episode and the next and one after that. And now you see why it's gripped the attention of so many...including our children.

In a recent discussion group at Transforming Life Counseling Center, our counselors voiced concerns on the impact this show is having on our clients, and, to draft our clinical response to the effects stirred by the themes presented in "13 Reasons Why." Therapists raised concerns the show appears to glorify suicide, presenting suicide as a plausible option when a person feels lost, abandoned, victimized, alone, etc. Sadly, many who commit suicide rob their friends and family of their presence and relationship, and they don't take into consideration the devastating effects of suicide on family and friends. As Superman himself, Christopher Reeve, once said, "Once you choose hope, anything is possible."

During the TLCC discussion, other therapists voiced concern the main character of this show, Hannah, fails to take ownership for events in her life, choosing to blame everyone else. Hannah knowingly put herself in risky situations, as evidenced by the time she witnessed her best friend being raped: Hannah said nothing to anyone, and then later went to a party at this same boy's house. She had many opportunities to leave the party, but, was unfortunately raped by the same boy. The rape wasn’t her fault, the rapist in the story needed to be charged and found guilty for his crime. And, many rape survivors don't put themselves in risky situations. However, Hannah Baker had every opportunity to avoid this situation.

Also during the TLCC discussion, therapists were bothered by the school counselor's lackadaisical response to Hannah's only cry for help. As mental health professionals, we have entered into this career because we care about others and want them to see their own strength and resiliency. However, the school counselor in the show seemed more focused on reporting the situation then caring and connecting with Hannah Baker. We need to have ears that hear and eyes that see the signs of someone in distress.

Many adolescents don't understand the finality of death. “13 Reasons Why” is a good example as Hannah Baker continued a presence throughout the rest of the series. The tapes serve as a way that she can continue to live even after death. Many clients voiced how it was hard to understand the gravity of death when Hannah remained a constant throughout the series. To better address this and other main topics on how to approach "13 Reasons Why", here is our clinical response:

1. IF you let them watch. Discuss each episode with them and allow them the opportunity to discuss in depth their feelings towards these difficult subjects. Parents should make sure to create a safe environment for their kids to open up. This safe environment would include a soft, gentle tone, non-judgmental attitude etc. Allow time for questions and stay off the soapbox; make answers concise and to the point.
2. Listen and reassure your kids. Just like most of us, all we need to know is someone is there for us and loves us. Provide reassurance that what they are feeling isn't wrong but that you love them too much to leave them there.
3. Look for signs of distress. Isolation, giving away of personal belongings, statements alluding to suicide, sense of euphoria before, etc. A broader list will be provided in future articles.
4. Have an action plan. Know where to take your children in the case of imminent danger or call a counselor/hospital if you are unsure of what to do. Always have your child in your sights if they have voiced distress.
5. Enroll your child in counseling should your child show signs of distress.

The most important support and encouragement you could give is you build and foster a loving and supporting relationship with your kids.Encourage open communication and an honest expression of emotion. It's appropriate to learn your child’s communication style to provide a safe environment for your child to open up. Staying in tuned with your child’s emotional needs is the best way to encourage healthy emotional intelligence.

In upcoming articles, we want to give our readers practical signs to watch for, ways to help those in need, and resources to turn to in time of trouble. Please watch for these articles in our coming "A New Day" newsletters.

Authors: Brandon Schmidt, MA, LMFT-S, PCIT. Brandon is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an Approved Supervisor in the State of Oklahoma. He is also a Certified Parent-Child Interaction Therapist and a clinical member at Transforming Life Counseling Center.

Jenna Richardson, MS, LPC. Jenna is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a clinical member at Transforming Life Counseling Center .