By Michelle Garrett, MS, LMFT
I can’t tell you how many times I get the question, “HOW do you do what you do (for a living)?” Some brave souls will even ask,”WHY?!” I suppose they’re implying, “why would you want to listen to people’s problems all day?” Or maybe, “how do you manage to hear difficult stories all day without slipping into some deep, dark, depression yourself?”
Quite honestly, my clients inspire me. I am touched by their trust, honesty and vulnerability. I never liked being around fake people. People tend to lose the facade when they allow themselves the difficult privilege of looking deeply into themselves and life’s painful experiences. It is this journey, where many of life’s valuable lessons occur:
- Learning to be vulnerable with another person doesn’t have to be scary.
- Dealing with painful emotions actually leads to freedom and healing.
- Pain can also provide the best opportunities for healing and learning.
- Present pain often brings up past trauma and can to healing old wounds
- As someone goes deeper with their private pain, they often find the courage to go deeper in their own relationships
Therapy is a very personal journey. Being heard, validated and understood is so important. As a therapist, I’ve found that staying connected to my client, their pain and their perception of life’s circumstances, while trying to keep my eye on the bigger picture of hope, strength and possibility, is so important. It can be difficult to communicating both: If you over-communicate hope, you can lose connection. If you over connect/identify with the client and their pain, you can lose objectivity and, even become caught in the tailspin that brought them in, in the first place.
My days are never boring. Each person is unique. Every story is different. And, the ways depression or anxiety or trauma affects people and their relationships adds a different layer, too. My clients are courageous people and I learn something new with each and every client. They allow me to partner with them on that journey. And, that, too, is a privilege.
I’ve often said that we get a front row seat to watching God’s work in people’s lives. I’ve learned so much from my clients and their courageous and sometimes humbling work. It’s deeply personal and beautiful. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen things come together in someone’s life that dismantles old, ineffective and disabling aspects in their lives, and then watch the pieces fall into place where healing and repaired relationships occur. Pain and trauma can become opportunity. Paradigms shift and new ways of living can occur.
Sometimes, a person’s story stops me in my tracks. There are times I almost can’t comprehend the amount of trauma and pain, one person or family can endure. There are times where I am angry, hurt and overwhelmed right along with them. Watching my clients find strength they didn’t know they had, and the courage to push through the toughest things in life, is more than inspiring. And, I feel it is my job to roll up my sleeves and be tough enough to partner with them to help them find strength, resources, relationships and hope. The story is theirs, and the victory is theirs. But, I am just along for the ride and, I am honored.
So, if you’ve ever wondered about how hard it is to do what we counselors do, please know there are so many blessings. From the counselor’s couch, this work is a privilege and an honor, and, quite honestly, I am inspired.