Keep the “Christ” in Christmas: Forgiveness
by Kristen Caldwell, MA, LPC Candidate
It may be true that Jesus Christ was not born in the month of December and that all of our celebrating of his birth during Christmas is rather inaccurate, but, even so, I doubt Christ himself would say “humbug” to such a remembrance. Perhaps the holiday season is an even greater time to keep Christ uppermost in our minds. The holidays can quickly blend from one to the next within a matter of months, and for many, this also means sharing a lot of time with family. This time of celebration is often subtly veiled under a thin disguise of stress, annoyance, hurt, and anger. Depending on your family’s accepted way of interacting with one another this can be overt or covert. We may be able to escape these unpleasant feelings for all the months before the holidays, but once around these specific family members, strong emotions can be triggered, producing uncomfortable thoughts like:“I’ve never felt good enough,” or “They’re judging me,” or“They never apologized,” or “Are they going to end up arguing over dinner…” or “I always do most of the cooking,” etc.
Whatever the thoughts may be our unresolved issues with others can be painful. Instead of enjoying our holidays together, we may come to dread them. We might think: “If they would just change!” or “Things would be better,” you fill in the blank. Sometimes people do change, but what if they do not? Perhaps one small answer is we have given too much of ourselves away to others. Somehow our emotions are not our own anymore. Did they make you think, feel, or say that; or did we choose? Can we make a different, conscious choice?
We are certainly not alone. There are many examples in Scripture of less than perfect relationships. The story of Joseph is a powerful example. We see with Joseph the deep betrayal of his brothers and his continual disappointment while imprisoned. In Psalm 105:18 (AMP), David writes about Joseph and his afflictions. Some versions translate: “His feet they hurt with fetters; he was laid in chains of iron and his soul entered into the iron”. Upon further examination, this passage can be understood to mean that Joseph was “bound to his grief” and that “He keenly felt the degradation and suffering of his unjust imprisonment”. This paints a picture of a man in deep pain, not only physically but emotionally. And why not, he had done nothing wrong, and yet was betrayed by those that he should have been able to trust the most. Even Christ experienced this, when he should have been able to trust his disciples they abandoned him. This is recorded in Mark 14:50 (NIV), as Jesus is being arrested scripture says: “Then everyone deserted him and fled.”
Eventually, Joseph did face his brothers who had betrayed him. Genesis 45:1-5 (NIV) reveals his emotional meeting: Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it. Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. ” (emphasis mine)
We cannot change the past or others decisions in the moment, but we can make for ourselves a new choice. To forgive. Holding on to unresolved negative emotions can be damaging and even make us sick. Christ also said when being crucified, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NIV). Christ’s example before us models forgiveness. Did Christ’s persecutors deserve forgiveness? No, but then none of us can be found to be perfect either.Forgiveness for some is more difficult, often times the offense was very painful. Some of our family members might require that we practice the fruits of the Spirit. They need more grace, patience and love. Perhaps we are being challenged in goodness, but it starts with forgiveness.This Christmas, put Christ back into your Christmas, by attempting to heal past wounds and forgive past hurts.
References/Resources
http://biblehub.com/commentaries/psalms/105-18.htm
Author: Kristen Caldwell, MA, LPC Candidate. Kristen is a Candidate pursuing licensure and a clinical member at Transforming Life Counseling Center.
